Girl what now?!

Series: Post 1

Hey Village!

Today’s topic is brought to you from LIFE! Welcome to the first of many “Girl, what now”!? posts! These pieces will be co-written by myself and my best friend Simone and here she goes by @petitesi! I am extremely excited to bring the witty, edgy and hilarious voice of my best friend to A Village for Us. We have been speaking about collaborating on a project for a while so I can’t wait to see how this journey will unfold! So without further ado this weeks topic is…. *insert dramatic drum roll* :

“Girl, what now”!? When mixed signals aren’t mixed!

Let’s do a deep dive here ladies because listen let’s be real how many times have we rationalized away the habitual bad behavior of the men that are in our lives? I mean we all know the old adage “when someone shows you who they are, believe them”. Well why is it so hard to actually apply this concept to real life? Why is it that it is so easy to identify the foolishness in the lives of those in our circles, our favorite characters in movies or tv but can’t seem to apply all our wisdom to our own situation? Simply put why are we at our BIG ages still allowing people in our lives that prove by their actions how they really feel about us?

Well I could go on, but I think the root of it is lack of perspective. When you have perspective you’re able to see all sides and angles but when you’re in the thick of it. Yeah, I’m guilty of seeing everything but the flashing RED FLAG! Call me the forever romantic or hell just wanting the people that say they care to show up in the ways that I would show up for them and yeah no that rarely if ever translates romantically. Love, familiarity, and memories seem to not only blind us to the realities of our romantic situations but these are the vary things that keep us chained to the hope that maybe just maybe things will be different this time. Well, I’m here to hold your hand and tell you like your best friend would “the man in your life will continue to do whatever you allow in addition to we teach the men how to love us by how we love ourselves”. That said, we can’t continue to blindly go along to get along just because there is love, familiarity and memories. At the end of the day we have to choose to put ourselves first sometimes because in doing so we are setting healthy boundaries which not only shows how we love ourselves but also illustrates in a tangible way what we will no longer tolerate.

Take it away BFF! (Below contributed by Simone)

I think we as women try to complicate the overly simple and make up scenarios in our minds as to what should, could and ought to be instead of paying attention to how we want to be treated, spoken to and loved. If he wanted to he would, if he thought about it, he would have done it, there's no room for accepting lackluster, partially concocted feelings any longer.

Going forward, I move with intention and after I've expressed to my partner my needs, wants, likes and dislikes and the dislikes have somehow  become familiar......there's nothing wrong with choosing the love that is truly meant for me versus what I have accepted.

And just like that we have our first co-written piece on the books! Thanks for joining us for the first piece of “Girl, what now”?!